My sister is a bad influence on me.
Before she came home, I had all sorts of shit going on. I would read, write, study French, do yoga, meditate, go to the gym and generally try to break myself from the funk my life has fallen into as of late.
But then she came home for the summer. She works hard all year, gets good grades and all the honors SUNY can offer. She has a very demanding job. So I can blame her for utterly crashing when she gets home, where she spends her time watching TV, surfing the web on her laptop and trying new wines every other night. Shes earned it.
Trouble is, it rubs off on me. Suddenly I find myself getting into whatever shes watching when I walk in the door from work, plopping myself on the couch right next to her and just doing whatever shes doing for the rest of the evening. But I have not earned it.
Part of it is because I dont want her to feel like Im ignoring her or make her feel alone, as her social life is nealy as empty as mine. But mainly its just lazyness. I suppose I should try to break myself from it as part of my latest motivational spurt. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
the God Factory
He could not remember the academy. The years of classes preparing him mentally; they all seemed like a dream now. The processing in the genetics lab to prepare him physically, truly miraculous feats of science given the conditions he was to endure; he wondered if they had ever happened at all. How long ago was it? How long since he was dropped out the airlock, naked and alone, into the depths of space?
He felt no cold, his body long since numb to the void.
He saw nothing, for in space nothing is visible because there are no particles to refract light.
He heard no sound, for there the same lack of particles deprives sound of its essence.
He smelt no odors; out here there was truly nothing.
He tasted no flavors. They had removed from him long ago the need or desire for sustenance.
For most, it is easy to differentiate between the physical, temporal world without, and the mental, spiritual world within. The former is what is perceived by the senses; what is seen and heard and touched. Here is the realm of time and space and logic, which shackle the mental world with its linearity. Because of this world and the input provided by the senses, the mind remains separate: if it does not exist in the physical world, then clearly it must only be in the min
But for him, the world without is a non-issue. Without sight, or sound, or touch, there was truly nothing to perceive except for what was in his mind. Every thought he had was the totality of existence. For how long? Without the changing of seasons, the rise and fall of a sun, the turning of a clock time had no meaning. He could have been there for 5 minutes or 5 millennium. Maybe he was always there, and the life that he knew before being dropped from the ship was simply another thought created by his mind.
For every thought was a universe unto itself, created from nothing and encompassing all that is, was, and ever shall be before fading and giving rise to another thought and another universe. Was it instantaneous, or did these evolve over the course of seconds or centuries? A moot question: both answers are one in the same to him and not even something he considered as all of being spiraled within his body.
The confines of his body, also irrelevant, drifting there in the void. Perhaps he did not even have a body.
Was he dead? If he was, how would he know? In a previous life he had feared death but now he understood that death is merely the removal from the physical world; a retreat into the mind and into eternity with the power of ultimate creation. He had truly become a god.
He felt no cold, his body long since numb to the void.
He saw nothing, for in space nothing is visible because there are no particles to refract light.
He heard no sound, for there the same lack of particles deprives sound of its essence.
He smelt no odors; out here there was truly nothing.
He tasted no flavors. They had removed from him long ago the need or desire for sustenance.
For most, it is easy to differentiate between the physical, temporal world without, and the mental, spiritual world within. The former is what is perceived by the senses; what is seen and heard and touched. Here is the realm of time and space and logic, which shackle the mental world with its linearity. Because of this world and the input provided by the senses, the mind remains separate: if it does not exist in the physical world, then clearly it must only be in the min
But for him, the world without is a non-issue. Without sight, or sound, or touch, there was truly nothing to perceive except for what was in his mind. Every thought he had was the totality of existence. For how long? Without the changing of seasons, the rise and fall of a sun, the turning of a clock time had no meaning. He could have been there for 5 minutes or 5 millennium. Maybe he was always there, and the life that he knew before being dropped from the ship was simply another thought created by his mind.
For every thought was a universe unto itself, created from nothing and encompassing all that is, was, and ever shall be before fading and giving rise to another thought and another universe. Was it instantaneous, or did these evolve over the course of seconds or centuries? A moot question: both answers are one in the same to him and not even something he considered as all of being spiraled within his body.
The confines of his body, also irrelevant, drifting there in the void. Perhaps he did not even have a body.
Was he dead? If he was, how would he know? In a previous life he had feared death but now he understood that death is merely the removal from the physical world; a retreat into the mind and into eternity with the power of ultimate creation. He had truly become a god.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Another Michael Jackson blog entry.
So, I know the internet is exploding with talk of Michael Jackson's death. I first heard about it around 6:15, when the general consensus was that it was nothing more than rumor mongering from TMZ. By 6:30, it was confirmed by more reputable sources. By 6:45, a google search for "Michael Jackson death" brought up several pages, blogs, and news sites proclaiming it to be a hoax or publicity stunt. By 7:00, the fighting evolved into how much respect and mourning the man really deserved. It was/is everywhere. Allow me to throw my two humble cents into a pile
of pennies that could fill Scrooge McDuck's tower.
I'm really confused over how I should feel. On one hand, its Michael Jackson. The king of pop, the man behind Thriller, a sensation that arguably has never been matched. If you wanted to attatch a single name to the 80's, his would be a very good canidate. His death is truly an end of an era.
But on the other hand, he was a pedophile, and for that me should be lining up to spit on his grave.
But on the OTHER other hand, he's Michael Jackson, for Chrissakes. His impact on culture the world over cannot be ignored, and in the face of death, we ought to remember the positive aspects of his life; the music and the sensation, whatever else may have happened after his downfall.
But on the OTHER other other hand, he was a fucking pedophile, and the fact that he was a supermegastar should not excuse that. Try telling the families of the kids he molested to "just focus on the music."
...
So I'll just say this: Right now, it doesnt really matter what he did, good or bad. What his life was, what it became, or even whether or not you liked his music (don't forget that there are many out there who did not) doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. For better or worse, Michael Jackson was part of the American (if not the whole world) psyche. His death is, if nothing else, significant. And it is that very significance that desrves our respect.
of pennies that could fill Scrooge McDuck's tower.
I'm really confused over how I should feel. On one hand, its Michael Jackson. The king of pop, the man behind Thriller, a sensation that arguably has never been matched. If you wanted to attatch a single name to the 80's, his would be a very good canidate. His death is truly an end of an era.
But on the other hand, he was a pedophile, and for that me should be lining up to spit on his grave.
But on the OTHER other hand, he's Michael Jackson, for Chrissakes. His impact on culture the world over cannot be ignored, and in the face of death, we ought to remember the positive aspects of his life; the music and the sensation, whatever else may have happened after his downfall.
But on the OTHER other other hand, he was a fucking pedophile, and the fact that he was a supermegastar should not excuse that. Try telling the families of the kids he molested to "just focus on the music."
...
So I'll just say this: Right now, it doesnt really matter what he did, good or bad. What his life was, what it became, or even whether or not you liked his music (don't forget that there are many out there who did not) doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. For better or worse, Michael Jackson was part of the American (if not the whole world) psyche. His death is, if nothing else, significant. And it is that very significance that desrves our respect.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
All do most, none do all part 2
While we're at it, lets talk about gizmos, gadgets, and mobile devices, which have a similar problem as the websites I was just talking about.
It used to be that every hunk of plastic you kept in your pocket had its own purpose. The phone was the phone, the camera was the camera, the video game was the video game, the music player was the music player, the computer was the computer, etc.
But now, everything is trying to be mashed together into one everything-device, like some screwdriver I once heard about. At first, this seems like an awesome idea. I saw Star Trek too, and I love the idea of some all-purpose high tech tool that can do all the things I need. The trouble is, it doesn't work. Not quite, anyway. Like the social networking sites, each device attempts to have multiple functions, but doesn't do most of them well enough to eliminate the need for all the others.
Take the MP3 player. Theres the iThing and other dedicated devices, sure, but most phones come with players now, as does the Kindle, the PSP, and the new DS, and even a camera. Theres probably a good amount of people out there who own most of if not all of these things; do they load their playlists up on every single one? Probably not since most of these things dont even come close to the storage capacity of a real mp3 player, not to mention the ease of use.
And the camera? Again, the iPhone has one, regular phones have one, the fucking DS has two. I'll bet most people can find at least 5 digital cameras in their houses, and yet we still need REAL cameras if we want to take pictures of any quality. Same goes for the internet. Most things can connect now, but who's throwing their laptop away? Didn't think so.
Anyway, I know its a pointless rant. I know it doesnt really affect me in any way, having 3 mp3 players that I never use or 4 video game capable devices that dont have any games. But I know that a true device for all occasions will never happen if not for technology and financial restraints then for corporate competition. And I find a simple elegance in things that are designed for one function and do it well. So maybe let's leave the cameras off my new wideo game and maybe drop the price by a few bucks instead?
It used to be that every hunk of plastic you kept in your pocket had its own purpose. The phone was the phone, the camera was the camera, the video game was the video game, the music player was the music player, the computer was the computer, etc.
But now, everything is trying to be mashed together into one everything-device, like some screwdriver I once heard about. At first, this seems like an awesome idea. I saw Star Trek too, and I love the idea of some all-purpose high tech tool that can do all the things I need. The trouble is, it doesn't work. Not quite, anyway. Like the social networking sites, each device attempts to have multiple functions, but doesn't do most of them well enough to eliminate the need for all the others.
Take the MP3 player. Theres the iThing and other dedicated devices, sure, but most phones come with players now, as does the Kindle, the PSP, and the new DS, and even a camera. Theres probably a good amount of people out there who own most of if not all of these things; do they load their playlists up on every single one? Probably not since most of these things dont even come close to the storage capacity of a real mp3 player, not to mention the ease of use.
And the camera? Again, the iPhone has one, regular phones have one, the fucking DS has two. I'll bet most people can find at least 5 digital cameras in their houses, and yet we still need REAL cameras if we want to take pictures of any quality. Same goes for the internet. Most things can connect now, but who's throwing their laptop away? Didn't think so.
Anyway, I know its a pointless rant. I know it doesnt really affect me in any way, having 3 mp3 players that I never use or 4 video game capable devices that dont have any games. But I know that a true device for all occasions will never happen if not for technology and financial restraints then for corporate competition. And I find a simple elegance in things that are designed for one function and do it well. So maybe let's leave the cameras off my new wideo game and maybe drop the price by a few bucks instead?
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
all do most, none do all.
I think what annoys me most about social networking site is that theres just too damn many of them. Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, DeviantArt, all these blog sites and every forum everywhere and even e-mail clients to an extent... all are very robust with new features added to keep up with the competition to the point where the differences between them begin to break down. Facebook's serious Twitter-Envy comes to mind.
All of these sites now are so similar that one starts to wonder why you would need more than one of them. Why have a blog, a DeviantArt, AND a MySpace? If you draw an illustration to go with your anime-porn fanfiction, do you have to put it up on all three sites? And Again, why Facebook AND Twitter? If you come up with a clever observation or wittisism, or a link you want to share, you have to post it to both sites! Not to mention the many different usernames, profiles, and friends lists that go with each one. Oh, and they almost all h ave IM clients built in too. The combinations of repetition are many.
Now, I know some of the savier sites have implemented some degree of integration. You can set up tweets and blog posts to appear automatically on facebook, and all that such nonsense. (speaking of which, does somebody want to help me out in setting that up?) But what about your friends who don't have both? AND if I make all my posts and updates on site A and have them automatically updated on sites B and C as well, how do I receive feedback from my friends who only have sites B and C? You need to go through the motions at every site if you want to stay up to date.
Why, then, do we not just dump all but one or two of the sites and stick to using them? Because despite all the similarities and interconnectedness, they are all just different enough to warrant keeping them around for SOME miniscule feature that the other sites don't have. Facebook gives you all the networking you might want, but won't let you have an ugly background or shitty music playing on your page. You COULD post your art on a blog, but then only your friends can see it, and how will your furry-inflation-incest Jonas Brothers/Naruto crossover art get the attention and praise it deserves then?
Fuck, Im getting tired of this rant. Im gonna call it quits for now...I have to go post this to facebook.
All of these sites now are so similar that one starts to wonder why you would need more than one of them. Why have a blog, a DeviantArt, AND a MySpace? If you draw an illustration to go with your anime-porn fanfiction, do you have to put it up on all three sites? And Again, why Facebook AND Twitter? If you come up with a clever observation or wittisism, or a link you want to share, you have to post it to both sites! Not to mention the many different usernames, profiles, and friends lists that go with each one. Oh, and they almost all h ave IM clients built in too. The combinations of repetition are many.
Now, I know some of the savier sites have implemented some degree of integration. You can set up tweets and blog posts to appear automatically on facebook, and all that such nonsense. (speaking of which, does somebody want to help me out in setting that up?) But what about your friends who don't have both? AND if I make all my posts and updates on site A and have them automatically updated on sites B and C as well, how do I receive feedback from my friends who only have sites B and C? You need to go through the motions at every site if you want to stay up to date.
Why, then, do we not just dump all but one or two of the sites and stick to using them? Because despite all the similarities and interconnectedness, they are all just different enough to warrant keeping them around for SOME miniscule feature that the other sites don't have. Facebook gives you all the networking you might want, but won't let you have an ugly background or shitty music playing on your page. You COULD post your art on a blog, but then only your friends can see it, and how will your furry-inflation-incest Jonas Brothers/Naruto crossover art get the attention and praise it deserves then?
Fuck, Im getting tired of this rant. Im gonna call it quits for now...I have to go post this to facebook.
Monday, June 15, 2009
I Can Has Blog??
Sometimes, I complain that all my friends are artists and I am not; that they can all create incredible, beautiful, or funny things while I can do nothing except sit around watching them create incredible, beautiful, or funny things while wishing I had more beer.
Sometimes, some of those friends point out that I can write. I acknowledge that I have that ability, as do most people in this country. I think, though, that they are implying that I can write well. I'm not sure where they got this idea since most of the time, when I look back upon something I wrote, I hang my head in embarrassment and stuff it away in my 'creativity drawer' along with every other thing I've written, never to be seen again.
Maybe, I just need to get it out there. Maybe I AM good, and just need more practice. Or like most successful writers these days, maybe I suck but will become well known and successful anyway, because I am persistent in displaying my work? I guess we'll find out.
I've been resistant to starting a blog or journal in the past because, quite frankly, I am a lazy ass with a short attention span. I'd be an utter fool to deny this fact about myself, as it is one of the primary reasons that my life has amounted to so little thus far. But I have a plan to improve myself and my life, and for some reason, that plan includes starting this blog. I will be doing my very best to keep up with it. Having lots of friends reading it and commenting on it will help, because I am a whore for attention (hint hint).
I know it doesn't look like much now, but give me a break. Its my first post. It will get better, I swear. And if it doesn't....I don't know. Make sure it does.
Sometimes, some of those friends point out that I can write. I acknowledge that I have that ability, as do most people in this country. I think, though, that they are implying that I can write well. I'm not sure where they got this idea since most of the time, when I look back upon something I wrote, I hang my head in embarrassment and stuff it away in my 'creativity drawer' along with every other thing I've written, never to be seen again.
Maybe, I just need to get it out there. Maybe I AM good, and just need more practice. Or like most successful writers these days, maybe I suck but will become well known and successful anyway, because I am persistent in displaying my work? I guess we'll find out.
I've been resistant to starting a blog or journal in the past because, quite frankly, I am a lazy ass with a short attention span. I'd be an utter fool to deny this fact about myself, as it is one of the primary reasons that my life has amounted to so little thus far. But I have a plan to improve myself and my life, and for some reason, that plan includes starting this blog. I will be doing my very best to keep up with it. Having lots of friends reading it and commenting on it will help, because I am a whore for attention (hint hint).
I know it doesn't look like much now, but give me a break. Its my first post. It will get better, I swear. And if it doesn't....I don't know. Make sure it does.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)